My Math Autobiography

If you asked me today what I thought about mathematics, I would offer three different opinions on the subject: math is challenging, math is intimidating and an extreme fear of math can be overcome.

From kindergarten to grade six, I have vague memories of what mathematics looked like in my classroom. I do however, remember that most of my math lessons took place in a highly teacher oriented way. At all grade levels (of which I can remember) the teacher would stand at the front of the classroom, writing examples on the board from which the students would copy down. I remember oftentimes, how students would be called upon to give an answer or would be asked to record the answer on the chalkboard in front of the entire class. For me, the thought of having to show my answer to a math problem in front of the whole class was absolutely terrifying. Needless to say, I always felt much stress and anxiety during math class. After the teaching sequence, my fellow classmates and I would be given individual seatwork and the remainder would be assigned for homework. I remember how using hands-on materials such as blocks or cubes would rarely be used and almost treated as a positive reinforcer rather than as a learning resource. Although, I do remember how the majority of the students would be much more engaged with the task at hand during these particular lessons. Nevertheless, I feel as though the way mathematics was taught reflected upon my teacher's attitudes towards the subject itself. I believe most of my teachers might have had some concerns and/or dislikes with mathematics and so my fellow classmates and I were not engaged or encouraged in a positive way in this subject area.


My absolute worst memory surrounding mathematics occurred when I was in grade three. My class had just returned from music and the teacher quickly ushered us back to our seats. The teacher then stood at the front of the classroom and not too subtlety told me in front of the entire class that I did not understand how to add or subtract properly. She then proceeded to tell me in front of the class that my math book was being sent home for further practice. I was devastated and embarrassed to say the least. I clearly struggled with mathematics at a young age and so my teacher's grand announcement did little to improve my self-esteem.


As I got older, I would consider myself to have been "okay" at math. I did not fail at math by any means but when compared to my other subjects, there was a significant decrease in my grades. Assessment consisted of just that-grades. Assessment was comprised of giving a test and assigning a particular letter or number grade. The worst form of assessment I can remember was the test of mental math. The teacher would stand at the front of the classroom and call out a math problem which had to be completed in so many minutes or perhaps even less than. I failed almost every single one of those mental math assessments. Knowing that I had to complete the problem in a set amount of time caused me great anxiety. I could never actually complete the problem efficiently because I was too worried about having to produce an answer, just like that!


My very first math quiz in high school I failed miserably. Something inside of me ticked and I vowed to put my all into mathematics from there on in. I found myself a tutor in the classroom with whom I would work with the entire class instead of sitting with my friends. After that, math came quite easily to me- much to my surprise. In grade eleven, I took advanced math and did very well. I chose to return to academic math in grade twelve and again did very well. One of my greatest accomplishments with mathematics occured when I was in grade eleven. As part of a mentoring program at school, I replaced one of my courses with mentoring a high school math course. In that class, I was responsible for answering student questions and working one-on-one with struggling learners. That experience helped alleviate some of my own personal fears of mathematics and instilled in me a sense of great pride.


The math courses I took in University were Math 1050 and Math 1051 and I did not take any math electives. I did fairly well with those courses but by that time the stress of university had gotten to me and I did not put as much effort into math as I did in high school.


As for today, my daily life relies heavily on the use of mathematics. I have rent to pay, bills to uphold and a budget to follow. After high school, I worked at the YMCA for a period of time. There, I was responsible for completing invoices for birthday party and membership sales transactions. At the end of each night shift, I was responsible for cashing off my transactions made throughout the day. More recently, I work at Extreme Pita where I am responsible for cash, debit and credit transactions. Time, money, space and relationships make up my daily life- mathematics.


I feel as though I have had a long journey with mathematics. I have gone from being intimidated by math in primary/elementary, to not caring and barely scraping by in junior high and to overcoming my challenges in high school. Right now, I see math as a subject which I want to learn to like. I want to learn how to see math as engaging so that I can instill that same kind of positive attitude in my future students.